With a diet of self-confidence and esteem, he eats away at every pound of flesh you consider self. Left naked, a skeleton of discard, you pick up what remains and build back the man you are. One day too tough a skin for him to sink his shallow teeth.

I don’t want to die but living seems something for a man better equipt than me. I need to go entirely, no body, no blood, take along with me everything I brought.

So glad Osama Bin Ladin didn’t have access to the Internet during his 5 years break.

Welcome to speedy suicides, our first guest is Matt from Derbyshire. Tell me a little about yourself Matt… “Can we just start” “Hahaaa” and up against Matt is Hannah, from Warwickshire I believe? “I don’t want to die” crying
Awesome. For our viewers at home, the game is simple. First heartbeat to hit zero points to audience “Is the Hero”. Feel free to use anything you find here in the studio, on your marks, get set, GO

Matt turns, grabs a knife off the table, positions it behind his neck, slaps it home winning the game, pan over and hannah has hung herself, wiggling like a fish. Clearly going to die but without winning the game.

Christ thats morbid

Nyc at night sounds like a bunch of foxes on acid.

Saw my first cockroach at 3am this morning on the curb.

Airport = planestation

13## Lexington. The binmen come at 2:12am.

Saddest part of The Departed is when the guy comes home with fresh bagels and is just shot in the head

Cops, i’ve started referring to them as the morally impaired.

Chimps don’t want to speak English, we’d end up giving them jobs.

Mina pregnant. On her first appointment for the shall I sharnt I clinic there was a magazine called ‘Mama Academy’

Roasted sugar nuts are the tits. The only way I can get my hands on a whole bunch would be to have the guy drag his wagon to my wedding. So I need to sort that, I need to get married. For the nuts.

Went to fav pizza spot, all 4 Mexican employees were high as a kite. This is why I go for pizza at 2am, it’s also likely why they’re open until 4am.