Rufus whines like a busker. Drops his hat to the ground, holds up in a corner of the house and let’s out a shallow high pitch tune, not unlike a penny whist. Not out here for money, not looking for love, but that half a tandoori chicken you’ve left on your plate from the night before.

Best receding hairline i’ve ever seen in my life. – Caitlin

Raphael Dislexic would be a good pen name. Train stank of soup, swimming in shitty Cross Country broth

First time Caitlin watched one flew over the cuckoos nest was in the TV room of a Mental Institution.

This Evernote bollocks is giving me stress, i’m starting to understand why nutters poach elephants (Logo). Just spent the last 5 mins on google to understand what poach is and isn’t like what is a poached elephant?  If you boil an elephant to death do they charge you for poaching an elephant or poaching an elephant, I can imagine poaching gets you a longer jail time than poaching, anyone that can get an elephant in a pan is a force the world isn’t ready for. I’ve said poach too many times, i’m losing all grasp of reality here, sent a medic. My grammer seems pretty on point for a man who’s losing connection with his sanity over the poaching business so maybe we should just keep this train a’ rolling. Next stop is Moscow Missiles. If you’re derailing – sorry – departing at The UK Hash Trade, please head towards the front of the train as the station has a short platform. Jeez, even train platforms out here bullying the little ones. This train is for David Sedaris Central, Next stop Moscow Missiles. If you see something that doesn’t look right, speak to staff or text The National Crime Agency on @National_Crime_Agency  -  I’m not even joking idk how I managed to bag that one. – We’ll snort it. See it. Say it. Snorted.

Here’s a comedy letter I was hoping to send to my mother yet I desist for fears it’ll be hard to prove its comedic value against it’s apparent non-fictional genre.

Dear Mother,
I believe I have a cocaine addiction; it’s causing me a fair amount of stress.

with Love,
Matthew

And with that,
I shall take my leave.

I keep my life so very private from my family and friends. As my drug use increases I’m starting to worry that the support network i once comforted myself with in the justification of use may be blind to my downfall. My father has seen me smoke cigarettes once, my mother has never and the thought of her seeing a cigarette between my lips makes me ill.

I don’t think i’m addicted to cocaine but I spend a lot on it. I’ll have to cut this journey short, shoot this plane down before it inevitably glides into a town injuring more people than I ever cared to think when we took off.

My poor heart, he’s already dealing with a shitty bloodline and now I’m scaring the lad to life with the amount of powder that’d kill a bull.

Went to frags show, it’s no longer enough that I’m his brother.