M##### didn’t know women could get Aids. ‘Only men can get aids’.

I think I had a panic attack last night. I was lay in bed and my head and heart were freaking the fuck out. I invited M##### over last minute, figured some company might do me good. We spoke about love languages. Hers seems to be showing up, getting drunk on white wine, stumbling up to bed and passing out in my pyjamas before I’ve even managed to climb into bed. I don’t know my love language but I know it isn’t that. After 5 minutes she was out like a light, and I spent the night downstairs worrying – like a god damn love professional.

You listen to audio books because you can’t read, I listen because all I want to do is read. We are not the same.

Overthrow a government no borax no glue

Always take something warm to bed

Gambling is the only addictions you can get through your phone. These lot are drug dealersssss. 888 more like 666 am I right

What is Philadelphia

Universal hand gestures to add alongside the bill please hand gesture

Water
Still – flat hand
Sparkling – wiggly fingers

I look at the young couples here and fear that 50% of people in a relationship are clearly blind. For fucks sake woman how does your lad have a stomach that size, he looks like a beach ball innit