A few events from my not too distant past have damaged my memory. Not terribly, but enough to have me worry.
I’ve had countless arguments with people I consider close, I think it’s my love language . Sometimes they bring up a crucial, almost pivotal point to secure their argument right into the ground we share, only to be met by my ‘i don’t remember’ deflating their whole thing.
Now, if I were them, I’d be slamming my hands on whatever tables I could find, saying ‘Well isn’t that fucking convenient’ but they don’t because most have either witnessed my memory shit first hand or they’re just nice and wouldn’t weaponise my flaws against me.
Except for that one chick who will remain nameless but just know reader, that I can carry whatever you said I said or did to a neutral party and present it to them and go What do you think of this and with a strong second opinion, I can sometimes conclude that you lied. You tried to make me think I said or did something I didn’t do because you figured it’s all fair game with the retard, but no. As long as I can get it jotted down into my notebook, it’ll be looked into like the good little Plod I am. You know who you are.
Common sense of self goes a long way. Sometimes it’s as simple as getting a word-for-word quote only to find that I don’t even know what that word means. I’m a keen note keeper, so I search through my texts for the golden word, and allas, not only am I asking how it’s spelt, I get no hits on a query. It’s important to note I don’t have access to any and all school books from the ages of 5 to 16. I allow a 5% sway on the basis that I may have known, used, and forgotten a word by the time of the argument. And that’s generous.
My go to neutral party is my younger brother. He has always been critical of me and won’t hesitate to confirm I likely committed the crimes accused. He’s fair.
Francis presided over a landslide case in which I caught my at the time girlfriend with one airpod in whilst we were enjoying a sunny walk around town and chat. Now, let me tell you, she may not have known this at the time, but that hurt. Like in the early days when everything’s a bit touch and go, I don’t know man. We stopped in Sainsbury’s car park, I explained its a bit rude and if I had feelings they’d be upset right now. She pushed back and without delay, I got Francis on the phone. Phone to chest, I looked over to her and explained he’d give her a fair trial. Of course, he agreed, yes, it is rude to secretly wear airpods when you’re trying to get close to someone. And let me tell you right now, I should have thrown her phone in the lake. The audacity, not only to do it but to play it off like no big deal, I should have tied her shoe laces to the homeless man’s at the ATM, honestly where does this girl get off.
She pulled another stunt a week later at a restaurant, and again, I felt my heart crack a little. Of course, I stayed and she maintained her right to a fair trial, but my god the temptation to excuse myself, walk to the gas meter, bust a leak and blow that place to hell. I should have set that place on fire when I had the chance. Yet, calmer minds and all was forgiven. I’m sure there was a bunch of shit this girl was up to if I looked a bit deeper. Who needs all that though.
We’ve gone off track a bit.
I saw 3 whales and 10 ± 2 dolphins today. In telling the cute Russian I was more into the boats than the whales, she looked around shocked like the captain might kick me off. She wasn’t amused when I looked at her arse through the binoculars and said Bloody hell, look at the size of that one.