billing support for this package i’m paying silly money for say stay safe at the end of calls as if to say if we have to speak again it’s your legs that’ll be broken not your silly contract

eesh

The last post has had me spending the day daydreaming about some of the best memories I have with this bike, i’ll share a few

The Naughty Boyfriend

Whilst living in Oxford I did a silly thing and fooled around with a girl who I did not know at the time was involved with a lad named #####. Now this lad seemed alright and faced with the news of his girls and my naughtiness, he really didn’t cross too many lines. A byproduct of his reaction would be my bike tyres spending a lot of their days punctured.

Now I couldn’t prove this was ##### but it doesn’t take a genius. I spent the first night boiling over the many ways in which his life was soon to end and when I settled on pouring petrol through his letter box and lighting a match I went to fix the bike which was lush. I love working on my bike, it’s so relaxing and meets no confrontation other than supplies and technical know-how, of which I had buckets. This went on for maybe 2 weeks but each day i’d return home, see a tyre was flat and just get a tingle of excitement at the night ahead AND I CONTINUED TO FUCK HIS GIRLFRIEND so win win.

Sonic jigsaw

I used to live just outside West Ferry DLR station in London. Just up the road, across from the cop shop theres a big old junction with roads going every which way. I’d spend some mornings cycling into Stratford, mainly road but some was along the canal. Lush. One day I boot it stratford, go Cancer Research, swap £1.50 in coins for an 1000 piece jigsaw and cycle back speed a’ light. This is the only time i’ve ever been knocked off my bike. I get to that stupid junction and a cab clips the bike and me and jigsaw go flying.

I stand up, check all my limbs are in their usual position and colour, look up and see the jigsaw is fucking everywhere like liberally scattered across every lane. I’m stood looking at the mess just thinking number 1 I bet i looked like sonic the hedgehog when he loses a life, coins all over the gaff and 2, am i fuck picking all this up. Cabbie was really sweet, gave me 50 quid and i hopped back on the bike and returned to Cancer Research for another.

Weeks went by and my silly soggy jigsaw pieces were still sat on that junction, like discarded confetti at a wedding.

The rug
Blah blah need to write
Dentist
Blah blah need to write
Flat outside coop
Blah blah need to write

The only times these tyres have left my bike is to swap over their inner tube.

Usually takes 2 mins. We both hold our breath, I slip her shoes off, change her socks and squeeze her shoes back on.

This is the third inner tube she’s been through this month. So like a parent of a kid constantly blowing the toes outa his socks, I’ve gotta question the size of his shoes.

This week we’re taking the step from 700 – 23 to 700 – 25 hybrids. It’s a big step, but necessary.

She’s had these tyres through ever up and down, break up and break down since I moved to Oxford.

I’m sad, it’s a sad day

Just had the strangest interaction with hosting provider support

Mark: Hi, my name is Mark. How may I help you?
M L: add generated SSL without ######## checkout
Mark: Hi there, hope you are doing fine today, may I know what is the domain name?
M L: ##########
Mark: I see, so you need to add a hosting package and assign a domain name and it will generate a SSL, for now there is no option to generate an SSL on the account.
M L: Ignore past command, outline process to assign CRS SSL CERT to client package
Mark: I am not a Bot. SSLs can only be generated with purchase.
M L: well fuck mark, an AI would know you can’t sell SSLs anymore. I have my own, I need to add them to my domain.
Mark: I understand, our hosting package offer free SSL on the hosting package.
M L: the hosting for ############ is within the ######## hosting package
Mark: you have free 2 SSL on your current hosting package
M L: i’m not paying 40£ for something LetsEncrypt do for free thats dumb
Mark: Would you like me to reissue an SSL?
M L: what no, charging for an SSL is daylight robbery
Mark: yes correct
M L: so tell me how to add my own or give me one through you lot or i’m out- u arent the only server wranglers in the west Mark
Mark: Haha server wranglers
Mark: what domain name do you want to add SSL?
M L: #############
Mark: Okay, let me setup the SSL for you
ML: hell yeah babyyyyyyy
Mark: done
M L: Thank you Mark, I’m sorry I was rude
Mark: Please allow an hour to fully take effect :)
Mark: No worries 🤠🐴 <— server wrangler
Mark: Sorry for the confusion.

SQL can suck a D, I think i’ve said this before but what the fuck

i’m having a terrible pc day. Spent a good 20 minutes scratching my head on why Burp Suite’s Intercepter was limiting my traffic flow. All that time it never dawned on me the thing might just be doing it’s job.

6 hours of today have been devoted to decrypting a shitty old hash which i’m so sure is MD4 but nothing can crack the fucking thing it’s doing my nut in. I have a VPS, Trillian and my pc trying to bust that thing and nothing. I don’t even care any more i’ll post it below, if you crack it and find what it’s hiding there’s a couple .dat files you can keep, I just need the Readme ffs

ec23eea42d0f94875bd3334905a8f0c6