So there’s more than one Matthew Low out there.
I’m hands down the coolest but a close second is Matthew Low Consultant Physiotherapist with Matthew Low Bluebell Capital Partners coming in third. That lad’s kinda letting us down with boring job and all but we move.
Now, the Matthew Low that I spend most of my time thinking about is the anonymous M L who is constantly publishing academic reports. I know this because every time he churns one out, I get an automated email notification from Academia saying ‘are you the clever clogs who wrote this?‘ which I’m often not.
I was thinking about this guy a few weeks back and I caught myself like, am I fucking jealous of this guy and his academic success? I used to find comfort in the fact that I don’t have to hold myself to those standards because there’s already a ML who is. That spot’s covered, position filled – I can just keep doing the shit I enjoy, no worries. But to break into the Matthew Low academic hall of fame I’m competing against a pretty well-regarded guy in his field which leads me down the path of reading some of these reports to figure out how out-paced I am and what kinda field this guy is actually in. Turns out the lad just writes about birds. Fucking birds ffs I thought he was out here as a physics genius or something but no, his latest work was ‘Laying gaps in the New Zealand Stitchbird’.
Idk about you but I don’t give a fuck about the New Zealand Stitchbird and it pisses me off that there’s an ML that does. Fuck. I mean I’m glad he’s found his thing but come on Matt, if there’s a Matthew Low hall of fame his frame is being used to prop open the door for sure. There’s ML Physiotherapist who I hear is doing great work with the NHS, ML COO who’s a lil finance magician, me who can do all three Metro Suduko’s in under 5 mins flat and then this fucking bird whisperer.
I’m sure he’s a great guy and all but I’ll have to bring this up at our next annual meeting.
Or maybe I’m just threatened by him, this man has found his thing and he’s sticking to it. He’s probably a sound guy, no doubt has a chick (haha) and a few little nestlings of their own. I should take a twig from his nest.
I need to find a Matthew Low War Criminal or Crack Addict to make myself feel better about who I am and what I’m known for in the ML hall of fame.
Actually, scratch that I’m pretty great plus I’m running every damn day and I cooked the best fucking meal today and this carbon credits project is gonna make me a fucking gazillionaire
Blog ideas in my notes this week were:
Women’s football > Men’s football
fancy fantastic Mr Fox wife
MMA = gay sex w/ clothes
I’ll save them for a later date tho
Mrs. Fox is a fox though oh my days