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silly
Rufus whines like a busker. Drops his hat to the ground, holds up in a corner of the house and let’s out a shallow high pitch tune, not unlike a penny whist. Not out here for money, not looking for love, but that half a tandoori chicken you’ve left on your plate from the night…
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Eleanor
E is for Each Day I think about this chick I’m a step closer to putting a revolver between my lips and punching a round through my skull. *Pros* Attractive Smart Edgy Quirky, but as a show Flat head *Cons* Chose someone else Used you Isn’t that smart Tad boring It’s all a show Maybe…
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Atacama Desert
2 consecutive dreams about your unattainable crush is just such a Stella way to start ya Sunday When I was a wee lil youngster I loved Star Wars. Twas the tits. I was around 7/8ish when my dad brought home this metallic replica lightsaber and I was gassed. He threw in this casual comment that acted…
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The Two Headed Calf
Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum. But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And…
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rich in vitamin me
Who’s the dancing queen? I’m the dancing queen. Fuck the tambourine, look at me go. £1 coffee would save London. Been playing with the idea for a while but each time I crunch the numbers the coffee comes out at £2. 5 Students, hot drink backpacks like you see at ski resorts (Google it), contactless…
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PaperMate
Dear cute girl in Wilko browsing the same pens as me, I feel like after our brief chat we connected over our shared love for PaperMate FlexGrip pens – they really are the best for notebooks. However, when we chose, you reached for the Blue Ink 1.0mm and me the Black 0.7. At that moment,…
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olives
Scotland offered a life I could live, but my coat isn’t warm enough and job in London so couldn’t stay forever. One thing I loved about Spain is no one knew if you could speak Spanish so they never tried. I enjoyed that. I’ve learnt some Spanish from T#### and M#######, and a bit of…
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a love story
men cherish compliments like shinies off that show what was it called The Shiny Show – CBeebies sometimes the emotional equivalent of a ball of scrunched up tinfoil is all a man needs to find love I once got dangerously close to falling for a girl in the smoking area of a…