-
Bab on da bus
The baby on board stickers you see in cars aren’t to have you behave and not honk a sleeping child, they’re for paramedics knowing which vehicle to give attention to first in an accident. Which is kind of morbid. 2 babies on plane, don’t think you have to pay. They’re likely classified as hand luggage.…
-
passwords
Dana doesn’t abide by the rules of password sharing, you want the password? You’ve gotta earn it. The password is the same as my phone number means taking away the +, the area code, decide if we’ll be replacing the lost digit with a 0 to meet the character requirements of global network communication, the…
-
uber
I was quoted £24 for the 7 minute taxi ride from station to hotel. Even got a second opinion when another cabbie saw me refuse the first. “Nah mate, that’s just how it is. Crossing state lines you see?” “State?” “Yeah, Wilmslow”. I walked off, pinged an Uber and £6 later I was there. I…
-
Carluccios Man
Meeting Joe or coffee on a wim. Sat down, watched a man sit outside the window, unfold a napkin over his leg, and eat the leftovers from four plates. The second he was sat and had shovelled all the onto one plate, he relaxed. Lay back and ate as if the food was just laid…
-
Snow storm
My life, since telling my parents about my drug addiction, has become complicated in a cocktail of ways. The main and most prominent issue is their total lack of trust in me financially. Of course, drug use and poverty go hand in hand, skipping through the dirt and snow, but I’d like to think that…
-
funny stuff
A man is walking through the woods when he finds a suitcase. Curled up under the suitcase are a fox and four cubs. He immediately calls animal control to report what he found. “Oh no that’s terrible,” says the animal control worker, “are they moving?” “I dunno,” says the man, “but I guess that would…
-
silly
Rufus whines like a busker. Drops his hat to the ground, holds up in a corner of the house and let’s out a shallow high pitch tune, not unlike a penny whist. Not out here for money, not looking for love, but that half a tandoori chicken you’ve left on your plate from the night…