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sunday
My nightmare last night had Joe and Francis persuade me to climb the side of a football stadium, which I did, shaking like fuck, each hand grasping the rung of a metal ladder and one between my teeth. I am terrified of heights. Later I tried to wash small black bugs off my hands, they…
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can-saw
My dad told me over hotel breakfast that he thinks he has cancer. Mouth full of all-you-can-eat scrambled eggs I paused to say fuck? This was hands down the best hotel breakfast I’ve ever had in my god damn fucking life because A. they had a large assortment of tiny single-use jams B. the coffee…
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American Air
F##### returned from America a few months back and told me he’d slept with the ##### Power Ranger. I asked if he was referring to the suit or the man and he confirmed, both. A quick Google search shows that there was a time when blue was a white man, pink was a white female,…
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dieting tips for those who suffer from memory problems:
Just put that shit in a cupboard, you’ll never see it again
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what da fuck
The last post has had me spending the day daydreaming about some of the best memories I have with this bike, i’ll share a few The Naughty Boyfriend Whilst living in Oxford I did a silly thing and fooled around with a girl who I did not know at the time was involved with a…
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700 series
The only times these tyres have left my bike is to swap over their inner tube. Usually takes 2 mins. We both hold our breath, I slip her shoes off, change her socks and squeeze her shoes back on. This is the third inner tube she’s been through this month. So like a parent of…
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Billionaire go boom
I can’t be the only one who watched the Falcon 9 take off today fingers crossed that the last frame the camera caught was Jared Isaacman face imploding as the thing crumples itself into ashes. I guess there’s still time, maybe he’ll float off on the space walk. I’m really into this billionaire bingo we…
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If I had a therapist I’d tell them
I’m scared to make noise I think I’ve always been a ################ I want to dig a hole and bury myself My full name and address
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notepad
Had a chat with J## today about our schooling. he closed the convo with “Yeah, You were a stem cunt” M#####’s feet tingle when she’s tipsy