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because why?
So there’s more than one Matthew Low out there. I’m hands down the coolest but a close second is Matthew Low Consultant Physiotherapist with Matthew Low Bluebell Capital Partners coming in third. That lad’s kinda letting us down with boring job and all but we move. Now, the Matthew Low that I spend most of my time thinking about…
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rush hour crush
I like to give homeless people notes bc I can’t imagine dying to get high and some cunt hands you 50p Knock knock Who’s there I thought you were homeless? *Bu dum chish* It rains too much. There’s a character in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy who has a rain cloud constantly following him. I…
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flatmate beef
Some of the mates that reside in this flat aren’t mates. And rightly so. To clarify, I’m not the problem; I didn’t bring this beef. The thing with house shares is their unpredictable nature. This flat has the potential to be a great place to live, nice people, nice area but one tenant…
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cashmoney
I swear long term qualifications like degrees, they’re just a test to see how well you can concentrate on something -trust me I can do this shit but I’m not stopping along the way to catch you up Thinking of swapping sides. It’s like when you were a kid playing football and life just seemed…
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frosty
I have a cold Which I think peaked at a fever but I’m doing good now Woke up last night in the middle of the battle, my antibodies vs whatever I’d managed to catch. I was 1000 degrees and felt like death, all in aid of giving my immune system the energy it needed to…
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skizzers
fav hobby these days is taking laptop to office blocks and scanning for open networks 9 times outa 10 it’s just CCTV ports passing packets but every so often you stumble across something fun british transport police are one of the shittier species of her majesties forces except Darren who was open to…
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pace
ClickEngineer is really picking up the pace. It’s great, I love this shit I was born for this shit but like wtf do I do when some business owner wants to know who runs the thing, like who handles all their hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of work and finds me, a 22-year-old drugged…
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.gov
The first thing I do when I get home is to check the police aren’t sat in my living room. I don’t think there’ll ever be a time where I catch them in the act. I know I haven’t done anything wrong, there’s no reason for them to be here but until I walk in…
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Fatboy Slim is skinny af
Time to cut down on the drugs. The dog can’t take it anymore. Every 10 mins I dive onto the bed to scrub her head like mad and berate her about how much I love her. Think she’s getting tired of my shenanigans. Plus the nose bleeds. My ear bled today, I don’t know if…
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goose fair
You know when you buy a snack ‘for later’ and you just don’t eat it. Yeah that’s me Some things just aren’t fair. But we use fairness as a gauge for mutual satisfaction, mutual reward. So fair is just the path of least resistance, emotionally speaking. A middle ground that causes no social friction. He…