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Fatboy Slim is skinny af
Time to cut down on the drugs. The dog can’t take it anymore. Every 10 mins I dive onto the bed to scrub her head like mad and berate her about how much I love her. Think she’s getting tired of my shenanigans. Plus the nose bleeds. My ear bled today, I don’t know if…
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charity shop jeans + no haircut = sexy matt
Eli (Dog next door) is a cunt. I’m gonna drop kick that fucker to Leicester I swear Fuck fair fuck that whole thing I did something about it and it worked out. I don’t know why tf I get off on doubting myself I wanna live in a world where I can change the shit…
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time
Drunk sad matt If I could pause time, I would. I don’t know if we’re the right people for eachother, I don’t think I’ll ever know something like that but I do know that life is about being around the people that make you feel what you didn’t think you could. I’d pause time…
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lazy lester
Stick with me whilst I show you how one guy can live on a single sleep cycle a night. The lad on my cig pack looks better shape than me. US are out of Afghanistan, who’d have thunk it. We say out, but the CIA are still deeply embedded in the runnings of that nation.…
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48,202.98
My short term memory’s gone to shit. Leaving toast in the toaster is the worst thing. Such a simple mistake but filling the kitchen with dark billowing black smoke, accompanied with the attention-seeking chirps of the fire alarm, yeah, never a good look. I should see someone about it. I don’t think I’ve ever actually…
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2am – somewhere in amsterdam
Met an Irish girl who called escalators the ‘upscalator’ and ‘downscalator’. I swear that killed me First time I’ve ever regretted not getting someones number I don’t wanna die on this planet. Song of the week
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Go to jail,Go directly to jail,Do not pass go,Do not collect 200
It’s been a minute. Got caught up in a load of stuff. Lost plenty of weight. Normally the biggest indicator for my weight loss is Frag, when he decides I’ve lost weight there’s always a pause, an awkwardness that gives me a second to prepare for the coming question, which usually materialises itself as a…
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water
My career got groomed by JCB. Egg in an incubator. Groomed is the right word, we were all in the same boat but had no say in where we were heading. In more personal areas of life, the past 10 years have been like the boat was sinking. No issue though, I’m a strong swimmer…
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strip
The curtains in this hotel are the exact curtains you see in the red light district, when I open them I feel like i’m going to be asked to strip off
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rokin amsterdam
Cussions are twice the size of ours. It’s bonkers. Look how we’re living. Wihtout even knowing it these people have twice the comfort we do. I’m stealing a pillow. I’m sorry but i’ll never come across comfort like this again and what’s the hotel going to charge? £60? I can live with that. If that’s…