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101 reasons to boycott oxygen
Hello ladies and gentlemen My parents used to take us to all sorts of museums when we were kids that I never really had too much of an interest in but now I’m old and can develop hobbies of my own I’m dying to go back to some of these places. Kennedy Space Centre, Florida…
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amsterdam w/ brothers
Francis and his oldest brother celebrate at the success of Joseph’s new found skill for international drug smuggling whilst Matthew blows cigarette smoke into the bathroom extractor.
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because why?
So there’s more than one Matthew Low out there. I’m hands down the coolest but a close second is Matthew Low Consultant Physiotherapist with Matthew Low Bluebell Capital Partners coming in third. That lad’s kinda letting us down with boring job and all but we move. Now, the Matthew Low that I spend most of my time thinking about…
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The Diamond Thief
How many sugars someone has in their tea is the truest sign of British Sanity available. I’ll do a graph My little cousin (5) and her friend came over yesterday after school because they were locked outa their house. They start taking off their shoes and I’m like ‘Nah don’t worry about ya…
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rush hour crush
I like to give homeless people notes bc I can’t imagine dying to get high and some cunt hands you 50p Knock knock Who’s there I thought you were homeless? *Bu dum chish* It rains too much. There’s a character in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy who has a rain cloud constantly following him. I…
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bic lighter
Uh oh, menu without prices – this better be good. Showing your face at a bank, strictly for criminals. I don’t know, I just think half the world has online banking and no one’s ever doing anything more complex than paying in or out. Unless you’re a criminal. They walk in and the teller…
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Fraud Flights
Christmas but you can only buy presents off the shopping channel. I love this stuff, you know it’s crazy. All junk but the guy’s all coked up chatting at a thousand words a second and you start nodding to yourself like yeah…yeah, it-chops-it-slices-it-dices, one knife for everything. I like the sound of this, I like…
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hit the road, Jack
My bicycle has 2 wheels and no wings, yet I fly. There’s nothing like a smokable kick up the bum to get the creative juices flowing. Sadly I have zero car in London and a strong respect for my housemates and our squeaky clean address so getting my hands on smokeable creativity is a ballache.…
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Solar Thoughts
Why do you stay up so late? In the wee small hours of the morning, nothing is expected of you. Humans are off the clock. It’s overtime, but it’s my time. I can’t justify spending half my life asleep, oblivious to the darkness that holds internal light. It’s quiet, no one comes knocking, no one…
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Energy and Industrial Strategy
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen Right now I got to tell you about The fabulous Most groovy bellbottoms Hu Bellbottoms! Hu I’ll start off with 60 odd words I put together on the circle line this morn desperately trying not to pet the guide dog resting his head on my knee This job…