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suited and booted
Employer: Would you pass a drug test? Me: Hell yeah, I know every drug in the book
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whos cat is this
It’s cats with shoes that get me confused. Claws on paws mean mittens on kittens, so scratches are soft yet still, I get bitten. i’m a fucking poet
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sad
I’m too high, that’s the problem. The earth’s gonna be gone soon anyway, go nuts. Last night was the first I’d spent without using cocaine, ketamine, speed, hash, MDMA and weed and tabacco I guess. The cocaine is the biggest issue due to its toxicity and frequent use so I’ll be writing about that. Not…
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like a boomerang
I’m spending a lot of time by the water. It’s funny, you go down to water level when the tides are low and you half expect to see Samaritan adverts stuck to the sea walls. The whole act has a somewhat suicidal feeling to it. It’s nice being down there. My favourite spot lets you…
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new job
If zoos let you check out animals like library books Matt: *Walks up to desk with monkey on shoulders, slaps down zoo card* Attendant: you cant have the monkey, you already have a lion and a goat checked out. Plus the goat is 3 weeks overdue. Matt: listen you can have the lion, I’ll bring…
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what kinda dog is that
I do yoga every night before bed. I get bored 2 mins in so I start by taking a shot of vodka and a couple ibuprofen to be relaxed and extra flexible. It works real well. People say yoga is effeminate and not a lads sport but I honestly can’t think of anything more masculine…
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Francesco, you’re out of contract.
Those times when u feel shit but can’t figure out why, like what have I forgotten to do maybe there’s a medicine I’m supposed to take around about now or maybe like I should eat, I’ve missed something. Maybe I need a smoke or maybe it’s the smoke that’s got me feeling like this. Should…
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If you can’t catch me, I earned the money
I don’t keep coffee here, I get my coffee on the outsideMade a listDid everything on itWhat a feelingYou know when I was 15 I painted my room walls purple and thought it was so sick and looking back my fam probably thought I was having a breakdown
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spaceman
I grew up thinking meditation was solely sitting still, no thoughts, no brain traffic. Which gets frustrating, I can’t not think. Not to say my thoughts are of value but when I run out of thinking forward, my brain starts working on the backlog of shit I’ve absorbed over the past few days. that lad really kicked…