• sheesh

    could Jessica Davenport, Grace Elvin, Callum Andrew Duff, Katharine Mcdonnell, Thomas John Hickson and Blake Patel plz report to my office

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  • Billionaire go boom

    I can’t be the only one who watched the Falcon 9 take off today fingers crossed that the last frame the camera caught was Jared Isaacman face imploding as the thing crumples itself into ashes. I guess there’s still time, maybe he’ll float off on the space walk. I’m really into this billionaire bingo we…

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  • God innit

    Dear Diary, Today Gosia requested I not ‘corrupt’ the Jehovah’s Witness we work with. I don’t know who the hell this woman thinks I am.

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  • US Assimilation Test Revision Group

    “Can you walk down the street without a coffee?” “Yes, but it’ll be assumed you’re looking for coffee” “So, like, a Starbucks?” “Sure! But if you’re seen outside a Starbucks without coffee, you must enter. If not, the jig is up.” “What about if I bring a coffee from home?” “All depends on the cup.…

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