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cops
13## Lexington. The binmen come at 2:12am. Saddest part of The Departed is when the guy comes home with fresh bagels and is just shot in the head Cops, i’ve started referring to them as the morally impaired.
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Mama A
Chimps don’t want to speak English, we’d end up giving them jobs. Mina pregnant. On her first appointment for the shall I sharnt I clinic there was a magazine called ‘Mama Academy’ Roasted sugar nuts are the tits. The only way I can get my hands on a whole bunch would be to have the…
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US Assimilation Test Revision Group
“Can you walk down the street without a coffee?” “Yes, but it’ll be assumed you’re looking for coffee” “So, like, a Starbucks?” “Sure! But if you’re seen outside a Starbucks without coffee, you must enter. If not, the jig is up.” “What about if I bring a coffee from home?” “All depends on the cup.…
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jog on
If you ain’t running, you’re what sucks about America I get the running vibe, i’m sure it happens in London, i’m just not up early enough to see. It’s a huge contrast to what the rest of the world see America as. They’re definitely in their own bubble. The fascination of war, the domination of…
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subway
The subway stinks. The subway is not called the tube, i’ve been told this three times now. Police radios in the US are loud. Thin coppas run to respond to incidents, the fat ones waddle.
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cat trap
I lost the cat. I can’t find the cat. Did i really lose her if she was never here? She should be here. Where is she? This was the job. Look after the cat. But no cat. The posibilities are racing through my mind. Cats get in suitcases, suitcases that are left for packing, packing…
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The Earplug Diaries
Airports must be hell for autistic people. Everything’s so loud and bright. Wading through the tide of perfume slingers, their scents combining into a curtain like cloud between you and the safety of your gate. Even getting that far is an unspoken achievement. They take your bag, give it a sticker and send it on…
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Bab on da bus
The baby on board stickers you see in cars aren’t to have you behave and not honk a sleeping child, they’re for paramedics knowing which vehicle to give attention to first in an accident. Which is kind of morbid. 2 babies on plane, don’t think you have to pay. They’re likely classified as hand luggage.…
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speed run
I read an article today that made me feel physically sick. I won’t give a full rundown but it involved a strip search of a 15 Year Old girl who was told to remove her sanitary pad. The search ended and they found nothing. Ontop of that she was pulled out of an exam to…
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passwords
Dana doesn’t abide by the rules of password sharing, you want the password? You’ve gotta earn it. The password is the same as my phone number means taking away the +, the area code, decide if we’ll be replacing the lost digit with a 0 to meet the character requirements of global network communication, the…