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uber
I was quoted £24 for the 7 minute taxi ride from station to hotel. Even got a second opinion when another cabbie saw me refuse the first. “Nah mate, that’s just how it is. Crossing state lines you see?” “State?” “Yeah, Wilmslow”. I walked off, pinged an Uber and £6 later I was there. I…
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Carluccios Man
Meeting Joe or coffee on a wim. Sat down, watched a man sit outside the window, unfold a napkin over his leg, and eat the leftovers from four plates. The second he was sat and had shovelled all the onto one plate, he relaxed. Lay back and ate as if the food was just laid…
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US
I realised today whilst packing I don’t own 23KG of anything Leaving to the US “Be Safe” x100 is my dads way of saying “don’t do ####### in New York” Ever since i’ve stopped sharing my progress, they seem to assume i’ve gone off track. Little do they know i’m on track for victory. Suck…
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Tumble dryer
Dear bouncing barrel of warm air, we don’t need you environmentally friendly. If I wanted dry clothes in 2 hours i’d have Rufus lie on them. Our old dryer nuked clothes. I’m saying 30 mins and the full load, done. We moved and had to get rid of it, pretty sure it went against the…
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British transport poolice
First time Caitlin watched one flew over the cuckoos nest was in the TV room of a Mental Institution. This Evernote bollocks is giving me stress, i’m starting to understand why nutters poach elephants (Logo). Just spent the last 5 mins on google to understand what poach is and isn’t like what is a poached elephant? If…
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mina
Mina is having dishwasher trouble. She reached out for ways to torture a dishwasher. After some back and fourth she landed on Custard in the water line
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cheese samage
The creators of the only vegetarian lunch option at my father’s local shop are the bakers of bath, supplying me with my much loved cheese and salad sandwiches. The salad is fresh, as it should be but completely overpowered by the two giant slabs of cheddar laid as the foundation. At first I found this…
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bill
MMA is very intimate. Sometimes they’re rolling around on the floor, wrapping their legs around each other and whispering shit in their ear I’m like GET HIM ….. or just fuck him, pick a lane lad
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dogs
Honey (small dog) is very anxious, she barks at anything so to combat that noise her owner bought a buzzy collar. Don’t freak out, it’s not a shocky collar it just vibrates. So she barks and her collar goes nuts. Then there’s Marnie (big old concrete dog) who has a habit of just letting off…