Times like this you find yourself wondering if you can even tie a noose? I’m sure any knot will do, this isn’t scouts I don’t need the badge. My curtail rail fell down last night so that’s off the table. Luckily there’s hooks in the ceiling that’ll take a load. Getting up there’ll be hard but hey, it’ll work. I’ll pop a call to the feds with address and take the leap, can’t have one of the family find me that’ll just be embarrassing. There’s no way a fed will show up in time unless they’re parked down the road. 7 mins minimum, plenty. Means my face won’t be too fucked up for mum and dad, long enough to kill but short enough to keep me looking, well, human. Ah fuck rope, no rope. Who has rope what the fuck kind of family keeps a handful of rope kicking about? I can’t go buy rope that’s cringy as fuck. Fuck it, no rope no go. Let’s call it off, another day my friend, another day.
The unbearable urge to trace my veins with a Stanley blade clears me of any energy to do so. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about this sort of thing, to live is to feel but who in all their sanity would want to feel like this.