I’m spending a lot of time by the water. It’s funny, you go down to water level when the tides are low and you half expect to see Samaritan adverts stuck to the sea walls. The whole act has a somewhat suicidal feeling to it.
It’s nice being down there. My favourite spot lets you walk down to the beach and sit under the walkway. There’s something very calming about hearing people walk around above you, with that somewhat anxious pace like they have somewhere truly important to be yet we all know they’re just going home, to a flat they can hardly afford and a cat who wouldn’t notice if they never returned. In school, I learnt about electricity lost on transport to its environment. 1000v is sent, 999v is received. It’s almost like the walkway is a cable, buzzing with electric life and me, listening to Muse under them is the few volts lost to its environment.
I enjoy London, at least I think I do. More likely it’s where I am so my subconscious has dealt a ‘deal with it’ card, so life continues with joy.
I have a new job, which is nice. Means I have to spend more time in the centre which I’m not opposed to but then there’s only so much paper cup coffee one man can take before you start to question what piece you are in this galactic puzzle.
There’s a girl. It almost scares me, opening up to let someone in. Nervous to the chance they won’t like what they find. I guess that’s all part of the game, a game I’m yet to win. As I see it, there are no winners in love. I wouldn’t call them losers either, they fall in-between.
There is one girl I’m starting to wish I’d never met. Now and then someone slips through the cracks and it’s less a risk of opening up and more finding them in there, almost as though they’ve been in there all along.
Since the Samaritans were linked to the NHS I feel the type of men who just wants to talk wouldn’t dare call them up for the fear of being taken seriously. I’ve always wanted to set up a phone network of just normal lads happy to pick up the phone every once in a while to listen to someone talk. Of course, we’d pass them onto the Samaritans if they were close to the edge but often all the brain needs is someone to listen. Normal men, men with families, jobs, kids with an hour spare in their day to switch on a mobile and pick up if it rings. If I find some time I might give it a shot.
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