I’d be a great mattress salesman
slaps top of mattress
Me: with this baby you’ll never lose a nights sleep again
Customer:
Me: look how deep this thing is, 8 inch’s of pure love John, feel that go on grab it
Customer: feels mattress
Me: jumps on bed, hands behind head
Me: i’m tellin’ ya, this thing’ll hug you like the father you never had Johnny Boy, and at 300 bucks, shit i’m practically giving it away