Somewhere to work

I keep thinking it’s 2021. I’ve been doing a line of coke most mornings to wake myself up for real, coffee just isn’t doing it anymore. I’m popping these fluoxetine pills when I wake up to make life bearable. The hour before re-dosing is wack, I see all sorts of shit. The dog looked like a fucking lizard this morning. I’m spending some time with me Ma’ lately so wake up routines are a little weird with the withdrawals. I just nod and agree, that usually hides what’s going through my head. I just don’t want to seem fucked up to her. I’m okay with her knowing I consume but being around her on the up or down is something I can’t live with. I’ve always been a little secretive about my habits, even when the fam started to piece together my usage the first thing my mum wanted to know was if I was doing these things socially, to which the answer was not often – that upset her. I don’t want to be the fuck up druggy Son but I admit, it’d be a role fitting to my context. I finished The Wasp Factory, extraordinary. I’ve moved onto ‘We Need To Talk About Kevin’. I’m only a chapter in and already, the style of writing is so captivating – Bloody brilliant. Next up is a book about some German lad on a roof.

My Dads lent me this curved monitor, it’s huge. A little like being sat at a cinema but no snacks. Trying to lose weight. I gain weight so quickly, it’s madness. Trying to stay slim is a constant battle. Now I have somewhere to work closer to where I’m staying I don’t have to venture out to Ashbourne to work at my brother’s desk whilst he’s away. He’s recently found himself a new ‘Sizzle Kitchen’. She’s nice. I worry that she sees his weakness, though. What I’d give to have Joe understand his true worth. It’s not often someone manages to hold down a Cammiss-Low, we are a rare breed.

Just finished up writing and published the site, saw the date – it is 2021. I’ll leave the date mistake for the jokes. Maybe I should read into this? I can’t go around not knowing what year I’m living in… Then again time is a metric I can’t hold myself against, it could be 3256, I’d still be wasting my time writing this shitty blog.