My career got groomed by JCB. Egg in an incubator. Groomed is the right word, we were all in the same boat but had no say in where we were heading.
In more personal areas of life, the past 10 years have been like the boat was sinking. No issue though, I’m a strong swimmer and I love the water. I’m going to have to redact a few pieces of the following, don’t want to start a family war.
Showing someone how to get h###, unlocking that level in their life was always a relief. I just need to get my D## h###, just be like look let’s get h### and it’ll all make sense: me, what I’m doing, why, you’d understand what life can be like, what life is like for me anyway. I’m trying to free the man. Like we’ve all gone down on a boat he sank but I’m looking back to save him. I shouldn’t; he sank the boat, but because he’s my fucking D##, I don’t know, the man is a big deal to me. We can’t just let him drown?
- me, looking around the life-raft, hysterically, hands in the air vaguely aimed at my listeners, family in the life-raft –
So do we let him drown? He sank the boat, maybe the captain should go down with the ship? We can be traditional, sure, let him go! Put it this way, a captain isn’t going to be great use on a desert island without the boat, boat sank you see, so what’s the use in him. Just another mouth to feed, let him go.
The other side of my brain is the one who’s got the job of pushing him off the raft, to follow his fuck up down to the bed. Are we sure he isn’t useful? Are we definitely better off without him?
What if he can cook, like really well, like we all eat great food on the island, that’s a game-changer, yeah maybe we should keep him, for the food. But when have I ever seen him cook? I mean he can do beans on toast but on an island? Nah.
This goes on for a few hours before we let him live on the raft whilst we explore the island. That’s where we’re at now.