matthew low

  • suited and booted

    Employer: Would you pass a drug test? Me: Hell yeah, I know every drug in the book

  • whos cat is this

    It’s cats with shoes that get me confused. Claws on paws mean mittens on kittens, so scratches are soft yet still, I get bitten. ‍ i’m a fucking poet

  • sad

    I’m too high, that’s the problem. The earth’s gonna be gone soon anyway, go nuts. Last night was the first I’d spent without using cocaine, ketamine, speed, hash, MDMA and…

  • like a boomerang

    I’m spending a lot of time by the water. It’s funny, you go down to water level when the tides are low and you half expect to see Samaritan adverts…

  • new job

    If zoos let you check out animals like library books Matt: *Walks up to desk with monkey on shoulders, slaps down zoo card* Attendant: you cant have the monkey, you…

  • Bastet, daughter of Re

    Back to the cats – and about god damn time We’re getting through the cat food, I think we have three cats on the go atm. I’m sure of two,…

  • what kinda dog is that

    I do yoga every night before bed. I get bored 2 mins in so I start by taking a shot of vodka and a couple ibuprofen to be relaxed and…

  • Francesco, you’re out of contract.

    Those times when u feel shit but can’t figure out why, like what have I forgotten to do maybe there’s a medicine I’m supposed to take around about now or…

  • If you can’t catch me, I earned the money

    I don’t keep coffee here, I get my coffee on the outside‍Made a listDid everything on itWhat a feeling‍You know when I was 15 I painted my room walls purple…

  • spaceman

    I grew up thinking meditation was solely sitting still, no thoughts, no brain traffic. Which gets frustrating, I can’t not think. Not to say my thoughts are of value but when I…